Han's New Adventure
by Haninator
Summary: Sequel to Link's New Adventure. Han's POV. Reviews are wonderful!
1. Data Record 1

Hey, guys! It's the story you've been waiting for! Han's New Adventure! Just so you know, I'm gonna be out of town this weekend and next weekend, so the updates may be slow. Anyways, I'm very happy 'cauz I have an amazing Legend of Zelda wristband. It's the Falcon with spread wings and a Triforce in between the wings. On the other side is the logo for Twilight Princess. Basically the front has a picture of what's on the Hylian shield. ;) I went swimming two days ago and my triceps are killing me 'cauz I swam around using only my arms for a while… that and I mimicked how Link swims in Ocarina of Time. LOL. I was bored, K? Here it is! Instead of writing 'Chapter_' I'm going to write 'Data Record_' because I want it to sound somewhat Star Wars-y.

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Data Record 1

Leia told me to go to Subterrel, a planet on the Outer Rim. It was some sort of 'hey we're fighting the Empire, come help us' mission. I've never been too great with the patriotic speeches, but there was that time when me and Mako convinced the smugglers that fighting was the only way to keep from being obliterated by the Empire. Ah, the good old days… back when Nar Shadda and Smuggler's Run were the places for anyone who wanted easy cash (and by 'easy' I mean you gotta have amazing piloting skills) to be. In any case, I had absolutely no confidence in the Rebels. All the other Rebel groups I'd seen were either led by a traitorous woman that I want nothing to do with anymore, or were defeated in a matter of days. In a way I'm glad Bria Tharen's dead. She won't be able to swindle anyone else out of some expensive, and did I mention impressive, glitterstim cargo. Don't get me wrong, I don't use the stuff. I learned a while back that that stuff was the best way to get money in my pocket and put food on the _Falcon'_s game table. It's also a way to temporary mind-reading abilities and early blindness.

Chewie and I needed to score some points with the princess, 'cauz Jabba wants us both for dumping a load of glitterstim. The Imps had been at exactly the right place. I blame Moruth Doole. That Rybet has had it out for me for years. I got nothin' against Rybets in general, but Doole has got to find a corner to curl up in and die. When he does, the galaxy will finally be in balance.

We were off to Subterrel when suddenly the _Falcon _started jerking around. Not such a big surprise, though, considering all the poor old girl's been through. Chewie checked the sensors as I fought against the pulls and leaps. The Wookiee looked concerned and growled.

*Cub, there is no reason the ship should be doing this. Perhaps it is an internal malfunction. Like the ones that plagued us all the way here. Either that or there's something cloaked back there.*

"Look, fuzz-ball, there's nothing back there! Stick your fur face out the top hatch and look back there if you don't believe me! I know what a laser blast feels like!" I was a little irritable because all that had happened on the trip so far was nothing but trouble. The hyperdrive had broken down at a minimum of three times and the Wookiee had yelled at me every time for over-loading the ship. She'd been through worse abuse, I'd responded. Chances were, this was just another of those ill-fated hyperdrive malfunctions. However, chances weren't exactly involved that particular day.

We landed in an open field on what I hoped was Subterrel. There wasn't much in the memory banks of the_ Falcon_ about it, and I wasn't about to ask her Highness-ness about it. (Later I'd discover that Subterrel had a very hostile environment which was largely due to acid fog and other wonderful things. The only civilization on the planet was underground, but how was I supposed to know that when the _Falcon_ had nothin' for it?) It was a good thing that it was night, or else people might have been concerned. Apparently Earth has no Wookiees or other non-human species. How boring, right? It was also nice that there were trees surrounding the area where we landed, so that no one would notice the _Falcon'_s presence. I walked out first, and not knowing what to expect, had left Chewie on board, despite his protests. He's a good friend, but when it comes to keeping his life-debt, the Wookiee can be a huge pain. After a medium distance walk, I came upon some buildings like the ones you'd find on Coruscant, but slightly different. There was something almost… primitive about them. I was glad to have my blaster with me because of the general strangeness of it all. Someone in a brown hat captured my attention, though. He stuck out in the crowd; it must've been the confidence in his gait. Sure, plenty of others walked with the same confidence, but this guy seemed somehow… familiar. I couldn't shake the feeling and for some reason, I walked over to him.

"What planet is this?" I asked as quietly as possible.

He laughed. I didn't think it was very funny and dropped my right hand to the grip of my blaster. "It's Earth. When did you drop out? After preschool?"

"What ARE you talking about?!? I'm a pilot!" I responded.

"Then you conveniently left your brain in the clouds, didn't ya?" the man laughed again, this time a small chuckle. I noticed a scar on his chin and without thinking traced my own chin scar.

"How'd you get that scar on your chin?"

"Huh?" he asked.

"The scar. On your chin."

"Long story. Easy explanation." He gave a lopsided grin that was a perfect replica of mine. The sensation was astounding. It's not every day that I see someone who can perfect that grin without seeing me once. "I whipped myself in the face by accident. No big deal. What about yours?"

I felt somehow at ease with him. He seemed like the twin I'd never had while growing up on the streets of Corellia. Corellia's not a bad place, mind you, but it was hard to be a dirty little kid asking for money from clean grown-ups. It was hard, but you get through it. Going with Garris Shrike wasn't exactly the best offer I'd ever taken, but it got me to where I am, and to change that one event, tons of other things would've happened. "In a fight. You wouldn't believe the other half of it, though." I grinned lopsidedly. The shock on his face was enough to say that he'd figured out what I thought to be true.

"My name is Indiana Jones," he said, giving me his hand.

I shook it and replied, "Han Solo."

"You seem like you could use a place to stay for the night." He was straight-forward, and I liked that quality. It was so strange for me to warm up to someone so fast, but I felt sincere trust deep in my gut. Either that or I was starting to get hungry, which wasn't likely. I wanted a nice break from seeing the same interior all day and night. It would be nice to get off the _Falcon_ for a little while. She's a big ship, but sometimes, it feels like she gets smaller while me and Chewie are en route. I find myself needing to get out and look at something new.

"Yeah," I nodded, shrugging. "I've got a friend on my ship, but he's not human."

"You've got a dog?" Indiana asked, instantly brightening. Whatever a dog was, it must have some importance to him.

"No. A Wookiee. He's not mine though. He's of his own free will. I don't own him. Only Imperials and other low-lifes would own a sentient being."

"Sentient being?" Indiana looked confused.

"I'll show you."

A few minutes later, we were at the _Falcon_ and Indiana was gawking at the huge spaceship.

"That's not what I expected," he said. "So you're from space?"

"Corellia. It's one of the Core Worlds. In the galaxy I'm from, at least," I added the last sentence as a modifier reflexively. I don't know what installed that reflex, but I don't care. Thinking back, it didn't really matter either. I went over to the ramp and boarded the _Falcon_, Indiana behind me. "Chewie! I'm back!" I yelled. The Kashyyyk native rushed in and saw Indiana and woofed.

*Cub, what are you doing?!? Who is he?!?*

"Calm down, fur-ball. Don't get your pelt in a knot. This is Indiana Jones. He's offered us a place to spend the night."

My co-pilot gave me a weird look and grumbled *I'm staying in the _Falcon.*_

"Suit yourself," I said, following Indiana out. "So Indiana, you got a nickname?"

"That is my nickname. The one I chose. I've been called 'Jones' and 'Indy' before, too, though I prefer 'Indy' to 'Jones'."

"'kay, Indy. I respond to both of my names, so it's up to you to choose."

Indy led me to a spare room in his house and I went to sleep shortly thereafter.

After a few days, Chewie decided to stay at Indy's place. Indy told me that there was something going on in this part of the world. There were gigantic robots trying to destroy everything they could, but they only showed themselves occasionally. Indy said he was trying to recruit whoever was willing to help. I told him that if I was gonna help, I was gonna need some lunch first. He chuckled and made something on the stove. It was good, a pasta thing with a flavor that reminded me slightly of bantha cheese, but better.

We finished and put the dishes in a dish-washing droid and went off to recruit people. It was then that I realized how Chewie and I wound up on Earth to begin with. There was a circular object that had a foggy picture of a grassy field in it with a man on a creature that Indy identified as a horse. Okay, fine, he looked more like a teenager the more I stared into the creepy swirling picture. We'd come through something like this when we were getting ready to land on Subterrel. The sensors hadn't detected it, but it had been there nevertheless.

Indy looked at me, then the portal and then stepped through. I followed, once again wondering what to expect. Chewbacca had stayed at Indy's house because he remembered the wide-eyed look that Indy had given him when they first met and he didn't want anyone to do anything worse. The adolescent on the back of the reddish brown mare as Indy called it. As we got closer, I noticed that there were patches of white in the mare's coat near the feet and on the forehead. The mane and tail also bore the same decorations of white. The young man was now off the horse and standing next to her as she lay down. He petted her forehead and nose until Indy and I approached side by side.

"Our country needs your help," Indy said, giving the green-clad man a grim nod. Then, thinking of my origins, he corrected himself. "Sorry. _My_ country is in need. He's my friend. We're trying to stop a new breed of evil."

"Someone should write that in a scroll," the teen replied, smiling.

"Scroll? What is this? Some backwater planet?!?" I asked.

"You're in Hyrule," the kid said it like I'd insulted him. Indy gave me a look that said I should keep my big trap shut. "It's on Earth."

I whispered to Indy, "Yeah, maybe a hundred years ago."

He smacked me on the cheek. "Just sayin'!"

"C'mon. Let's get goin'. We'll explain later," Indy said urgently. I'd never heard him use any tone except the calm joking one. He'd never hit me before either. Both of which made me feel like his younger brother. Maybe we were twins. I had no time to think, though. Before I knew it, we were off, back through the portal from which we came.

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Well, that was really fun to write. I know you guys are gonna ask about some of the stuff about Han's past. Well, he was an orphan on the streets of Corellia for the first few years of his life. He eventually was found by Garris Shrike, a guy who I'm sure is one of the greatest evils ever. Shrike took him in and had him steal and do other stuff for his own profit. Shrike had many other kids doing the same things Solo was doing. Han escaped when he was about 18 and in the process, Dewlannamapia, a Wookiee who became a mother figure for him, was killed. He vowed to save a Wookiee in need: enter Chewbacca Imperial slave. Bria Tharen was a love interest for him who deserted him so he could live out his dream to become an Imperial pilot. After he fulfilled his dream, he found that it wasn't what he wanted when an Imperial was beating a Wookiee (Chewbacca) severely. (Of course, Chewie was bound at the time.) Han couldn't stand it and retaliated, saving Chewie's life. He was booted soon thereafter. He fell in with the smugglers and wound up going to Smuggler's Run and Nar Shadda (the smugglers' moon). He lived in the Corellian Section of Nar Shadda for a while, smuggling spice for Jabba and Jilliac (Jabba's uncle who later became his aunt. O.O I dunno how that happened and I don't wanna know either!). Anyways, he did a good job and eventually became a strategist for the battle of Nar Shadda, which the smugglers won against the Imperials. Han went on to make a deal with Bria Tharen, which ultimately backfired, setting the lovers farther apart than ever. (If you want the full story of Han's background, read the Han Solo Trilogy ;) [Paradise Snare, Hutt Gambit, and Rebel Dawn].) I do not own Subterrel; it is a licensed Star Wars planet. (Go to Wookieepedia if you don't believe me!) I don't own Han, Indy, or Link, which makes me sad. I think by now you know who they belong to. BTW, the Moruth Doole part of the back-story can be found in Jedi Search. Please review! Wow, this is the first time I've explained the story of one of my characters… erm…George Lucas' characters, my borrowed characters in an AN. Pretty cool, huh? This is a pretty long AN. Maybe I should try to keep typing in order to attempt to break Starlll's record of two pages for one AN. Ah, I can't think of anything else to type. Looks like his record stands… for now… *evil laughter* REVIEWS ARE MY FRIENDS!


	2. Data Record 2

Sorry I didn't type this sooner, but the place I have to go to is really piling on the work. :( I hope I can update sooner in the future, but I don't think I'll be able to. Sorry for any late updates from now on. Here ya go!

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Data Record 2

It was funny to see the kid's expression as we walked through the portal. His eyes were bigger than most planets and his mouth was open so big that he could've swallowed Jabba the Hutt, not that anyone would want that fat slug sliding down their throat. I mean, just the thought sends shivers down my spine. Apparently the kid had never seen modern (by modern, I'm talking American standards) buildings and stuff.

Indy was too busy with his own problems, the main one being: we've gotta save the world, but we need help! to notice that Link… the kid of course… was gawking at everything within his visual range. I thought to myself that it would be pretty funny to see him notice a car. I wanted to see that, maybe even take a picture of it, but I'm getting sidetracked. Indy decided introductions were a nice feature of any relationship to be and started accordingly, "I'm Indy," (big surprise, right?) I saw the kid eying Indy and put on my 'signature smirk' as almost everyone who's ever heard of me calls it. "I suppose you can guess that we know you're Link."

I didn't know his name then, or at least not until Indy called him by it. I wondered where the guy got his contacts from. I needed to get people with connections like that into the smuggling business with me.

"Yeah, I figured as much. Whaddaya need?" Link asked, doing his best to smile.

Me, being the kind of guy I am, replied, "We need you to help us."

"Well, I KNOW that!" Link seemed to have little to no patience with us wise guys. Such a shame, really.

That's when I got all diplomatic. Well, Indy was giving me the look! You can't exactly say "no" to the death glare, people! "Our world is being threatened by creatures with a single purpose. They want some sort of Cube that we allegedly have. I have no idea where it came from, nor do I care. All I know is we can't let him have it, or else everything we all know is doomed." I must've rolled my eyes or something because the kid looked like he wasn't really taking me seriously. The next thing I knew there was the distinct pressure of Indy's elbow in my side. That guy has some BONY elbows, I tell you! "Ow! I'm gonna need that later! In fact, I think I need it right now!" I yelled at him impulsively. Some stuff just becomes natural, y'know? I turned back to the kid, watching Indy from the corner of my eye. "Sorry. I'm Han. Han Solo, captain of the _Millennium Falcon_." The next words just flowed out, partially to keep Indy from thinking that I was in this for anyone but me. Me and Chewie all the way. "The only reason I'm in on this is I want to be able to… carry out my business without the threat that the customers on the world I'm deliverin' to are obliterated before I get paid. But what do you care?" The last sentence was to make the kid think that the bit of my life history was unimportant to him. I suppose it worked.

The next thing the kid said made me smile inside and out. I had my arms crossed over my chest in that way that girls just can't resist (You know it's true, ladies!) as he said in this "What kind of poodoo are you flinging?!?" voice, "I have no idea how any of this has anything to do with me."

Then Indy surprised me. It was like he wasn't exactly sure that the warrior guy he wanted was named "Link". There's a name: Link. What kind of mother would put that on their child?!? Poor kid. "You're the best fighter in all of Hyrule, right?" The fedora-obsessed man asked. Link nodded. It wasn't a completely confident nod, kind of a "if you say so" sort of nod. It made me wanna tell him if he's the best, he should be proud of it, not just throw away the title like an old pair of socks! "Good. That means we've got the right guy."

"You didn't even know you had the right person before you blabbed your story?!?" The look on his face was priceless. So priceless that I decided to let it all slide. I guess Indy decided something along those lines too, seeing as he didn't reply to it.

"If we don't stop those things, they'll destroy our world and yours too."

"What, you can't shut off the thing you dragged me through?" The look was yet again priceless. It made me wonder how many times I'd think that from watching the kid's reactions to every new little thing he saw in America. Whatever kind of planet this "Hyrule" was, it was really primitive from what I could tell. Not quite the "stone axe" age, but definitely not in the "blaster" age. Somewhere in between the two.

Indy's voice broke through my musings. "No. We don't have the controls for it. It must have opened when the things came."

"You're telling me you had no idea what was on the other side of the device?!?" I could see the kid's appraisal of us had slipped another notch. Then I decided to step in, set him straight, y'know.

"That's what we're tellin' you. Like it or not, that's how it is. We could kinda see a foggy picture of what's on the other side, but it was just that: foggy." Link looked back at the portal to what for all I know was a different dimension.

"Well, are we just gonna stand here all day, or are we actually gonna do something about the giant pests?" Ya gotta love this kid, the way he thinks is so much like Luke that it makes me wanna give him a nice "welcome to the club" hug.

I looked over at Indy instead, "He does have a good point."

"Alright, genius, where are we gonna go?" Indy asked.

Link responded, "Well, I suppose we could get a bite to eat somewhere. After all, standing around talking about what has to be done does make even the Hero of Time hungry." That's a good boy. He knows how to work the streets. I figured it was time for me to get a little bit more generous. (Just kiddin'. Ain't I generous enough?) Even though I may have made it seem like we'd just walked out of the house a few minutes after having lunch, it took us a little while of searching for recruits for our cause. It was close to dinner time anyway.

"Okay then, gents, shall I direct you to the most luxurious restaurant I can afford?" I asked, making it sound like I was the diplomat I was supposed to be for this particular mission, or at least what it was supposed to be. We started the short walk to a place you are all probably all too familiar with.

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Well, that was harder to write than you would think! I had to keep going back to LNA to get the exact quotes. XD THAT'S gonna be a killer. I had a bit of writer's block in the beginning 'cauz I couldn't figure out how to start the chappy. Then I got a headache, but continued to type, 'cauz I loves you all. That and I would be shot if I didn't put this up. By Solo, Indy, Link, Sam, and select reviewers… coughStarrgrlcough. Anyways, I had fun with this chappy despite all the complications. I've gotta get my head fixed… so it don't hurt. Tee hee. Bye all! ;) There will be more!


	3. Data Record 3

Sorry I didn't type this sooner, but the place I have to go to is really piling on the work. :( I hope I can update sooner in the future, but I don't think I'll be able to. Sorry for any late updates from now on. Here ya go!

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Data Record 3

When we arrived at the McDonald's, I could practically feel what Link was thinking. The kid was NOT impressed. Later, at the drink dispenser, Link seemed completely disgusted by the stickiness of the floor. It made me smile a little to see him peeling his boots from the floor with each step he took. Apparently he'd never been in a cantina before... or whatever the equivalent of a cantina is in Hyrule. I suppose they'd have to have some place for weary travellers to wet their whistles with some alcohol. But at the moment I had something else to worry about besides the kid's opinion of the establishment: my growling stomach. We chose a table near the windows and glass paneled door.

Watching the kid take his first few bites of sandwich and sips of pop was rather amusing. He looked like the food was poisoning him. Don't get me wrong, I'm not sadistic, but I thought the kid was making the funniest of faces. It was like dinner and a show. He stopped about a half of the way through his sandwich, giving off this "I'm gonna be sick" vibe and I officially decreed that the fun was over.

"You call that luxury?" Link asked and I could practically feel the disgust emanating from him.

That's when I decided that I could mess with the kid a little more. "You don't like it?" I asked, conjuring an innocent expression from my repertoire and twisted it so it looked like I was wondering what was wrong with him. Sure, I knew that some people just weren't into fast food, but I have no idea why not. Maybe they just don't understand it. Food is food to me.

"No, I don't." Well, at least the kid's honest. "I'm gonna go get some water." I smirked and resumed eating my burger. Indy had ignored the entire exchange, silently eating his chicken.

"I guess he couldn't stand the sweetness of pop," I commented.

"Can it."

"Fine." Link came back with his water as Indy and I finished our little bit of bickering.

"What _was_ that stuff?" Link asked, a strange expression taking up residence on his face.

"Pop," I replied simply.

"Let's just say 'No' to pop." As soon as the words left the kid's mouth, I thought about all the stuff Indy had told me about the anti-drug infomercials and the "say no to drugs" slogans and started laughing. Indy joined in, probably for the same reason. "What'd I do? I don't think it's that funny. I just don't like sweet fizzy drinks. Is that a crime?"

"They might consider it one in America, my friend," I replied.

Of course, Indy, the Great Moderator, decided to jump in. "Stop making fun of him. Remember, you didn't always know what you know about America."

I grudgingly admitted, "Ahh, yes, the days of my ignorance." I added sarcastically. "Oh, the nostalgia!"

That's when something none of us suspected happened: my thoughts were interrupted by a loud belch from the green clad warrior next to me. The look of surprise on the kid's face was enough to get both me and Indy chuckling softly. Then a silver car passed by. You'd think that it was an alien invasion, the way the kid's jaw dropped. "What was that?" Link asked, focusing on the shiny, metallic wheeled vehicle passing the restaurant.

"That was just ga-" my sentence ended abruptly when Indy's fist slammed my stomach underneath the table. It would've felt only marginally better if I had had an empty stomach. At least I wouldn't have felt like I was gonna barf all over the place.

"No, stupid!" Indy yelled at me, clearly sick of my shenanigans at the moment. "The car!" Then he addressed the kid, "It's a car. Americans use them to travel, kinda like how you use a horse."

"Okay," Link responded. There was something in his eyes that signalled that he hadn't completely understood the explanation that Indy'd given him. That was when things started getting stranger. The car unfolded and stood up-undoubtedly one of the things that Indy had told me about, but I'd never seen. That was when I felt the same way the kid did, but didn't wear my emotions on my face. Not even the _Falcon_ could unfold and refold like that. The creatures were a force to be reckoned with. "Um, was that supposed to happen?" Link asked, breaking my thoughts.

"No," I replied, thinking quickly and putting a hand on the blaster in my holster. "It's one of the things."

"So it just morphed." Link was obviously mentally referring to something from Hyrule. "Why don't we call 'em Morphs, or Transformers or something like that?"

"Fine. From now on they're called Transformers, okay?" Indy asked, again, pulling his moderator stunt. If there was one thing I'd remember about that guy, it was how he could take a place of almost neutrality in any situation.

"That's perfect, but it doesn't matter what we call them if we can't stop them!" I yelled at the two as we leapt into action, running out of the McDonald's to engage the Transformer. I fired my blaster as Indy fired off his gun, whatever make it was (I don't know the gun brands of America, mind you! I've never had occasion to examine them.) and Link went at it with his... _bow. _I have nothing against old weapons, but when they're ineffective, it's time to try something different. Link followed this sort of belief, I assumed from his reversion from bow to sword. His sword was also ineffective, only succeeding in scratching the giant's paint and maybe ticking the beast off. It scanned the area, ignoring even the red beams of my Blastech DL-44 and as soon as it had appeared, it transformed back into a car and drove off.

Link's eyes followed the car until it vanished and as it disappeared from sight asked, "Now what?"

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I'm sorry that this is so short, but I would have been shot if I didn't put this up. By Solo, Indy, Link, Sam, and select reviewers… coughStarrgrlcough. (I might be anyways because I took such a long "vacation" from FanFiction.)

Link: You have GOT to get back into writing, girl.

Haninator: I know. I know. Oh... You guys can thank Link for this chapter. He provided some much-needed motivation.

*flashback*

(Link is holding the Master Sword to my neck) Link: TYPE NOW!

Haninator: Okay. Goodness, how'd I get myself into this abusive relationship?

Link: You stopped typing for FanFiction. That's how.

Haninator: Riiiiight. *continues typing*

*end flashback*

I'm SO sorry that this is SO late, but I lost inspiration for ALL of my fics. I don't know what happened. :( I hope it doesn't happen again. The "Link has never been in a bar" bit is in regards to Ocarina of Time, so don't tell me about Telma's bar and how much time he spends in there. I know he does all that in Twilight Princess. ;) There will be more! Just when I get time to write... eventually...

Link: You guys are all welcome. ;D

Haninator: Can I go to DeviantART now?

Link: Sure.

Haninator: YES! Time to stare at AWESOME pics of LINK!

Link: o.O

Haninator: Poodoo. That was aloud wasn't it?

Link: Yeah. *gives me a haunted "stay away from me" look*

Haninator: I wuvs reviewers as much as I wuv Link!

Link: Though she doesn't stalk you.

Haninator: Me? Stalk Link? Nevah!

Link: (mouthing) That's what she wants you to think!


End file.
